Juliana at Shakti Mama has launched a series of posts called "Elements of Self" in which women can discover their true beauty (and to accept it) through self-portraits. I'm always throwing up pictures of myself on my other blog, because I want people to see me, whether I think I look my best or not. Just trying to be real, you know?

But this week's theme is a bit more challenging than that. She asks us to show ourselves wearing a mask. Some participants have taken this theme to a very personal level, showing the type of mask they often wear in real life. One hides behind her children, another behind her camera, and yet another behind a pair of sunglasses and a smile. I thought, Wow, what masks do I wear? I wear the child mask and the camera mask for sure. I am a shy person, and though I generally do like to talk to people, I never go right up to them unless I have to. It is much, much easier to have something to break the ice. Or even give me a reason not to have to talk (like if I'm at a party I can be busy taking pictures so not really have "time" to socialize).

I've thought about the things I try to hide. There isn't much. I try to be an open book as much as possible. But there are things...

There are the parts of me that I try to keep tame.There are, inside of me, imperfections. Like unkind thoughts I might have of another person, or the way I lose control of my temper sometimes. Or urges that I have. It may seem useful that fear of another person's judgment helps me to maintain control of myself, but really it should come from within.

When I was in high school, I enrolled in a theater class. During a drama festival, I got to play the part of a whore for the "Master of the House" scene from Les Miserables. I loved playing a whore! I always had to be so prim and proper in real life (I believe in being modest, but my mother takes things to the extreme.) In this way, wearing a "mask" actually allowed me to step out of a mask that I wore daily. The same type of thing occurred on Halloween when I'd dress up however I wanted for a day. That year I was a zombie in a prom dress. Really fun.

For me, masks aren't really for hiding things about me, but rather for allowing me to change character. I feel relaxed behind the mask. I can be braver than the regular Lisa. After thinking really hard about what mask I wear often, I realized that it is my writing. More specifically, my blog. Not this one. I'm already safe around the people who come here. But everyone reads my other blog. It allows me to be brave and express things to those people that I would never have the guts to say in real life.

So, here's me sitting behind my mask:

I'm pretty thrilled right now. Two of my dear blogging friends, Monica and Carin, recently began a journey rediscovering their artistic selves. I wanted to jump on the bandwagon, too, and I dabbled in paint and drawing, and pulled out a few of my favorite artistic photographs...but I just couldn't really get inspired enough to delve into something new.

Until now.

I am redoing my son's room. We moved out the crib that was used for nothing but a jungle gym/storage area, and replaced it with a child-size table and chairs set. We moved out the big dresser and bought a child-size one. We still need to remove the TV and replace it with a little rocking chair (that I already have) and a wall-mounted bookshelf for a reading area. We are getting there, and we are getting really close.

I want the room to be both beautiful and functional. I put large white letters, A-Z, across the walls near the ceiling. We have two vintage prints up, but there is still lots of blank space on the walls. I want art to fill that space.

More specifically, I want beautiful paintings of stylized animals in bright, but pretty colors. I could spend the money and buy prints from this artist or this artist. But instead, I decided to try my hand at it.

Having no real idea of how to paint, or of even how to draw an animal (fortunately a stylized animal is easier than a realistic one), I studied various images of giraffes I liked, and still inspired by the styles of the artists I linked to above, I painted a background, and I drew the outline of a giraffe on it.

Then I added a balloon next to the giraffe. Then I filled them both in with white paint. I knew the balloon was going to be red, so I colored that in next. The giraffe was to be yellow, so I painted it my favorite shade of yellow.

It needed something more, so I shaded it with orange. Then I put some hoofs on it, and colored the tip of the tail and the horns on it's head, and the mane.


Then for the scary step: putting the spots on. They were pretty haphazard, but I think they turned out okay. I didn't do so well with the ear.

Another scary step was the eye, which I had already drawn too big (along with a too-big head, a too big ear, and a too fat neck). I used black paint to outline the eye, which made it way too dark. I took a black pen and darkened some of the lines in the pictures to even it out a bit. Then I drew a nose and I don't like that either.


But overall, I really like it. I think I will practice some more and when I get it right, I will paint it on a canvas.

And then maybe I will paint an elephant...or an owl...